Allentown

This is God’s country.
When you pray, here, for His Kingdom come,
for His will to be done
on Earth, as it is in Heaven,
it happens
even in a court setting
famous for the bereavement
of true justice,
‘n mercy.
Today I was the silent partner in a hearing,
in Berks county,
on a restraining order. The outcome
was perfect. However
I was castigated in court even though this
was not the subject of the hearing.
All this is fine in many ways,
and truly the work of God.
But
I continue to pray,
as word from Berks does sometimes
does leak through to Allentown
where my standing is unsteady and
there is a second hearing upcoming
and I fear
fear how long and hard it can be to pray
when a mess
becomes as complicated as it sometimes does
the stress
the dryness of being all alone
when it is going down about you
over someone else
‘nd you couldn’t speak no matter what
‘nd all you can do
is cry out to God.

Mercy

My soul is hurt today but my statue of the living Jesus
and my crucifix, hung at the back end of the living room wall,
stand to comfort me.

I have prayer cards, two Bibles, a handheld crucifix;
a plastic rosary beads given to me by a friend,
with instructions as to how to pray daily;

I don’t do that, and I can’t
go to church
because I am so unclean;

but I do know that the Lord loves and forgives me
and that everything works to the good for those who are
called according to His purposes;

I hate myself; I fear the fires of Hell.
But according to the words of the Universal Prayer,
(or is it the famous prayer of St. Padre Pio?)
“I trust more in His Mercy.”

Forgiveness

Allentown
is a beautiful
city
so pretty
so much to see
and much to do.
I don’t like that I get lost
on the twisty little back roads
but I appreciate the history
mapped out
there
city over city
over time
changing
developing
growing
laid out in
the roadway
infrastructure.
The trees
outside Easton
were so beautiful when I first arrived
back in town,
went through a bad patch for awhile
paranoia
dread
now
I’m wanting to love the area
as I would have
‘f I hadna gone to the st. hosp.–
I r’member
driving along the road
to Longswamp
with my boyfriend
and my cat
to the new family home
‘n just loving it.
(I’m asleep, by the way,
typing
in my dreams,
th’Lord
is giving me the words
in my sleep.)
Praise God!
For this is
God’s country
Berks is quite fine
Lancaster divine
drove to the Crystal Cave outside
Kutztown
and hit a backroad
that landed alongside a
river
‘nd the trees
‘nd the river
were so stunning and fresh
and beautiful
I was deeply moved.
Wound up in Virginville,
(just a Post Office
and a hotel)
which seemed
fitting
for the road, the trees, the river
were pure
innocent.
Haven’t been to Lancaster lately
only went once
after st. hosp. times
with a friend from Allentown
to see her old school there.
Had a bad attitude for a long time
after coming back from
So. Cali. with my baby;
and it came back on me I guess
for awhile
but now
I want to find my way back
to the beauty I first saw;
the country lanes
hills
green trees
so much green
fertile farmland, best anywhere
‘nd a stoic people
hard workers
religious
pure
strange
tough
who’ve held this country
to be God’s country
for
so many generations.
O Lord!
Lead me
to forgiveness.